Let’s Talk Spanking
Did you know, spanking was used in the Catholic Church to spank sin out of women after confessions? This was a practice that happened centuries ago, but somehow we’ve adapted spanking to everyday domestic use.
I grew up getting spankings and like a lot of kids that got spankings, sometimes you got spankings for things you didn’t do.
I’ve gotten a few spankings for things I didn’t do. Isn’t that sad to think about? A child being spanked for no reason…
I’ve had a few people tell me I need to spanking my daughter’s diaper because of small things she’s done. Things she doesn’t even know she’s doing wrong. Things she’s doing accidentally.
Now what sense does it make to hit a 13 month old’s diaper for doing something accidentally? At her age, everything is done either accidentally or out of learning. So instead of cracking the whip, I should take those moments to teach her right from wrong.
Although she’s only 13 months, I can still talk to her and tell her why her actions were not right and as she gets older she will understand what I’m teaching her.
My question, does spanking really work?
It seems like the kids that get the most spankings are the kids that act out the most. If spanking worked, wouldn’t that child stop acting out? If spanking worked, would a child continue with the behavior that caused them to get a spanking?
Do we not see a correlation?
In my opinion spankings are nothing more than adult temper tantrums.
What’s a tantrum?
If a child is overwhelmed with their feelings it comes out in tantrums. Children do not understand how to control their feelings. No one fully understands their emotions or how to control them until they are 25 years old. Of course the older you are the easier it is for you to manage your emotions.
Over time you learn, but there are still adults lashing out in public, throwing tantrums.
Tantrums are also a result of confusion. Kids don’t always understand what’s going on and it frustrates them. It’s much easier for a child to process a situation if they understand what’s going on.
Adults get frustrated. Adults get angry. But for some reason if a child or baby gets angry or frustrated they need to be spanked or told to shut up.
What since does that make?
So back to adult tantrums.
Basically the parent gets so angry with their child and the only way to release the anger is to spank the child.
Doesn’t it feel sooo wonderful to slap or punch something when you’re angry? After hitting something you feel like you’ve released that anger.
But should it be your child?
Then you have the people that say the Bible says to spank your child.
Now, reread that scripture. Does it say the word “spank?”
Yeah, I don’t see it either. Maybe try reading other translations. Maybe, it’s just the translation I’m reading…
No where in the Bible does it say to SPANK your children.
…but it does say be slow to anger.
Growing up I noticed spankings that were scheduled for a later time usually didn’t happen because by then my parents were no longer angry about what happened. By then, we were able to talk about what happened.
So back to the Bible.
No matter what translation you use, it uses the phrase “the rod.”
I’m not sure why we took that as a rod used for spanking.
Take a look at Exodus 21:20, If a man beats his male or female slave with a club and the slave dies as a result, the owner must be punished.
In this scripture it refers to the rod being used to kill male and female slaves.
We still see the phrase “the rod” but it says it will not kill them. It also says the rod of punishment. The previous scripture in Proverbs said the rod of discipline. Not the rod of spanking. You can discipline and punish your child without spanking.
Obviously this is a more gentle rod than the rod mentioned in Exodus.
Think about a shepherd. They carry a rod to guide their herds. They use their rods to keep the sheep on the right path and to fight off any danger that may come after their herd.
Parents are like shepherds.
Parents are to guide their children and keep them safe.
A shepherd takes care of the herd. Their herd is dear to their heart. It means a lot to them and they do not want to inflict pain onto their sheep or lead them into a dangerous situation.
Parents should do the same with their children. The rod was not used in the bible to spank or cause pain. It was used to gently guide.
The rod is a metaphor for guidance, not spanking.
With love, Shandora